In the dark forest there were millions of glowing lights in the distance. As you go closer they start to light up brighter, if you touch one of the glowing lights and, a secret passage way opens. When you walk in the passageway, there is a red carpet laid out on the floor, you walk further, and then people start cheering out from nowhere. Then this popstar appeared out of nowhere says “What are you doing here.”. I sprint out the door. I look back and I don’t see anyone. “Phew... I am not going there any more’. I thought
You need to make it easier for the reader by having the pauses in the right place.
ReplyDeleteGreat work your story was interesting
ReplyDeleteHi Nateesha my name is Jorja and I am from Kaniere School. I like the way you have put in a lot of describing words and past tense. I have done a describing poem before. Why did you choose that picture.
ReplyDelete